Let's Be Real Here #3: From Revelation to Freedom

This is the third installment of my summer 2014 series “Let’s Be Real Here,” that shines the light of Holy Spirit revelation on relationships and on the dysfunction we love and that our society promotes and profits from. I’m addressing these issues here because I’ve learned quite a bit - and am still learning, of course - about relationships that please Father. There are several behaviors that we exhibit that we assume are godly, but are not. If we want to experience the fullness of abundant life in Christ we must behave as salt and light; we have to stand out and show the world there’s peace and success within committed, loving relationships that allow men to be spiritual leaders of the home and women to come alongside them for the glory of God. 

Today I'm going to share various revelations Holy Spirit released to me after I submitted myself mind, body, soul and spirit to be purified and remade in preparation for a Kingdom marriage. A lot of this information stems from questions I've received, and it usually follows that if one person asks, several others need to know the same thing. 

Some of your unions are being held up and something in this post is the information you've been missing that's been blocking your mate's release to you. The revelations you receive need to be implemented - acted upon - in order to become wisdom. Until you put it into to practice it's just theory and theory doesn't put you on the path to your promised land.  

Let's get right to it: 

• ZarIf you're having sex with someone you're engaged to but not married to yet you're sinning. Getting married stops the sin, but it doesn't stop the consequences of the sin you committed before your covenant. You have to confess those sins to the Lord, receive forgiveness, reverse the curse you opened your life up to and superimpose Christ's blessing. If you have children, you opened them up to the sin of fornication as well and need to cleanse your bloodline. 
  
• Men who've been raised  by single mothers have a tendency to turn to a woman for comfort. When they're having issues with the current woman in their lives, they don't turn to her for comfort they go in search of another woman. That causes problems such as fornication for singles and adultery for marrieds. A similar situation occurs with women raised by single mothers - they often go in search of a man to fill the father gap. Whether single or married, you must learn to go to God to sort out your feelings before going to another human. Feelings are deceptive (in the Bible it reads: the heart is deceptive which is the same thing because feelings are filtered through our souls [spiritual hearts]). Parents: You must teach your children to take their feelings to Holy Spirit as early on as possible. I've done this for my son and I've been told by a social worker that he's one the most emotionally stable children she's ever met. She didn't say it, but in my mind I assumed she meant considering he's the child of a Black single mother. 
• If you're not a virgin but want to be made new for your Kingdom mate, God will do that for you. I've been through this process and it's beautiful. It's also difficult because you have to the face the past and confess and repent of everyone you've had sexual relations with - willing and unwillingly - and take back parts of your soul they received and return parts of theirs. If you have sex before covenant marriage, you exchange pieces of your soul with that person and you appear married in the spiritual realm. If you can't remember everyone, ask Holy Spirit; He knows all their names because you took Him in the bed with you and that other person (your body is His temple). So when you do get married, you've got multiple spouses fighting in the spiritual and that manifests as commotion in your natural marriage and neither of you can figure out what's wrong. Parents: Explain this to your children and don't allow public education or an uninformed church teach sex ed. This will save their souls - not salvation, but destruction of their souls. So, ladies (and men) Holy Spirit will make you new, not restore what was, He'll make you brand-spankin' new. He'll throw off your filthy rags and put on you this amazing white garment, Jesus will take your hand and He'll invite you to be His covenant bride - whether male or female. It's awesome. If you haven't taken my course Singles & Jesus, do that now.  
• If you're waiting for your Kingdom mate, but are dating you're what James called double minded and will not receive from the Lord. Dating is your way of weeding out the garbage to find the diamond, but if you're gonna do it, you don't need God and vice versa. He surely doesn't need your help, and if you're looking you're not submitted to His choosing. I decided in 2010 that I would start dating with the intent to marry. My picker was jacked up and there was no fixing it. I finally got tired of failing in that area, gave up dating and asked the Lord since He knew everything to just tell me who my husband was and tell him I'm for him without a doubt. In two weeks the Lord revealed my man. I doubted it, though, so I submitted it to my mentors Patti Cake and Prince Handley and they confirmed. Then I still doubted and asked for about 35 confirmations. Well, actually I asked for 10 and shared them with Patti. God answered nine exactly as I asked for them and the last one was off by one word. For the tenth confirmation I asked the Lord to have my son, Zayne, ask me a question as I had it written in my journal.
• Most people who date don't have godly self-control and they end up casting their pearls before swine and doing things they claim to disagree with. God desires that you practice celibacy for a season before He releases your Kingdom mate. God won't cast His pearls before swine, so until you have self-control, that man or woman ain't comin'. 

 
All this stuff takes time to work out. Deliverance is a process. That's why we need to think before we act. That's also why the enemy wants us bombarded with junk, so we don't have clarity of mind to think but instead do stupid things based on how we feel and what we want rather than on wisdom and the Word of God. I used to be as dumb as they come so I'm trying to help as many folks as possible not have to suffer all these consequences. All of these choices mentioned here are decisions made outside of the Word and will of Father. Therefore, with proper wisdom we can decide right now to choose God's way and stop setting ourselves up for relationship dysfunction. 


Copyright © 2014 Zari Banks, M.Ed