Asking Why

This season of deliverance like I've never experienced (obvi) and didn't even know was needed or possible has been a serious roller coaster ride. Up and down and all around. That was the title of my first blog - The Roller Coaster: Up and Down and All Around (on Tumblr). 

Perhaps I was prophesying and didn't realize it 'cause I'm back on this roller coaster again, and this week I heard myself asking the following:

• Why don't I have a normal life like so many other people?
• Why couldn't I have married young and had kids that are about to graduate and head to college?
• Why didn't I just get one job after college and prepare to work there for 50 years and then retire?
• Why aren't me and my husband about to sell our starter home and upgrade or remodel it?
• Why do I have all this dysfunction in my life?
• Why do I have so many active curses operating in my life?
• Why is everything in my life so different than the norm?
• Why do I need more; why couldn't I stop and settle into life after some of the past deliverance I've received?

Some of these questions I can answer, right? ... because I know my family of origin. But some of the others will require a bit of time with Holy Spirit to get more information. 

Have you ever asked any of these questions about your life or is everything laid out and working out normally for you? 

I see these 'normal' people who've married young and who are just going about life and I wonder what they do when crisis hits. I've had/have all these problems, so I have strategies in my toolbox for crisis situations. Do they? Or do they just have such normal lives that crises don't happen to them? And I also wonder are they not seeking personal growth? A good portion of my problems are the result of me wanting to grow professionally, spiritually and personally.

​Why can't I just settle into a normal life and not need more? Any insights?